A Philosopher’s Madness

About the book:

This is a personal and philosophical account of schizophrenia that aims to raise awareness of mental health issues. The personal aspect of the book reveals the gritty reality of what it is like to have schizophrenia, and explores issues faced by those with mental illness, such as secrecy and recovery. The philosophical aspect of the book raises questions concerning the nature of mental illness, such as whether or not mental illness is ultimately physical or mental. Referencing contemporary debates, such as whether madness is a disease or a culturally- determined label, this book is relevant not only to persons with an interest in a true story of psychosis, but also to those with an interest in the relationship between philosophy and madness.

Reviews of the book:

http://www.youthinmind.sg/events/eventdetail.aspx?id=4664

“Lishan brings us on an honest and intimate journey of her life and experience of schizophrenia, both in personal and institutional settings. Her reflections and advice are useful for those going through similar conditions, or seeking to better understand schizophrenia. Meanwhile, her philosophical musings are scattered like gems through a clearly narrated story, stimulating thoughts and stirring emotions.” – Ashley

“…a very touching and honest book.” – Reader

Book launch youtube video:

Get it here:

https://www.ethosbooks.com.sg/products/a-philosophers-madness

Talks

2020     British High Commission Singapore, Mental Health Week. Invited Speaker.

2020     “Letter to students in Abnormal Psychology at the City University of New York”, Invitation from Professor Philip Yanos 

2020     CEO’s Kopi Chat, Invited Speaker, Agency for Integrated Care, Singapore.

2018     “Letter to master’s students at the City University of Hong Kong”, Invitation from Professor Marcus Chiu.

2018     “Left to Write: Observing Struggle and Loss”, Panellist, Singapore Book Council, Singapore.

2018     “Writing Lives”, Sing Lit Station and Independent Archive Singapore. Speaker.

2018     Yale-NUS Diversity Week. Panel Discussion. Speaker.  

2018     Raffles Girls School Career Day. Speaker.

2016     Singapore Design Week. Design for Good session. Speaker.

2016     NUS Chua Thian Poh Community Leadership Programme Dialogue. Panellist.

2016     NUS Social Work Students. Guest Lecturer.

2015     Youth Corps Singapore. Guest Speaker.

2015 My Love and Dreams for Singapore SG50 photography exhibition. Opening reception. Guest speaker.

2015 ST Conversations: Madness & Mayhem. Singapore Writers Festival. Panellist.

2015 Grey Anatomy. Singapore Writers Festival. Panellist.

2015 Pandora’s Dimension. Film premiere and panel discussion. Panellist.

2015 ‘Mind this Voice: From hurtful to helpful’ Book Launch Sharing. IMH, Singapore

2015 World Federation for Mental Health Regional Congress. Guest speaker in Special Dialogue Plenary Session

2015 Theatreworks 24-hour playwriting competition. Guest Speaker.

2015 Executive Counselling Training Academy. Invited Speaker.

2015 Simei Care Centre Carnival. Guest Speaker.

2015 National University of Singapore Social Work Module. Guest Speaker.

2015 Institute of Mental Health Continuing Psychiatric Education Talk. Speaker

2014 Mindset Vertical Marathon. Guest speaker

2014 Caregiver’s Alliance Ltd Family Forum. Guest speaker

2014 Singapore Mental Health Conference. Speaker

2014 World Federation for Mental Health International Congress, Greece. Speaker

2014 Peer support specialist training programme sharing to mental health professionals. SAMH, Singapore.

2014 Afternoon workshop for UniSIM. Guest Lecturer.

2014 Khoo Teck Puat Hospital. Guest Speaker

2014 INTO1 peers sharing session. EPIP, IMH, Singapore.

2014 Singapore Auto/Biography Forum. Arts House, Singapore.

2014 Raffles Girls School (Secondary). Inconvo panel discussion. Youth mental health in the 21^st century. Guest speaker.

2014 Executive Counselling Training Academy. Guest Speaker.

2014 Yishun Town Secondary School, Singapore. Invited Speaker Series. Speaker.

2014 To Grassroots leaders at Caregiver’s Alliance Ltd. Guest speaker.

2014 Students from Ngee Ann Polytechnic visit IMH, Singapore. Guest Speaker.

2014 Coached peer to give sharing to Occupational Therapy students at IMH, Singapore.

2014 Central Public Library, Singapore. Key speaker.

2013 Caregiver’s Alliance Ltd, Singapore. Sharing with caregivers.

2013 Institute of Mental Health regional psychosis symposium, Singapore. Speaker

2013 Film and Media Studies students from Ngee Ann Polytechnic visit IMH, Singapore. Guest Speaker

2013 Community Advocates, Raffles Institution Junior College, Singapore. Guest Speaker

2013 Peers4Rs programme, Institute of Mental Health, Singapore. Guest Speaker

2013 Youth support youth programme, Nanyang Technological University, Singapore. Guest Speaker

2012 Counselling Department, Singapore Bible College, Singapore. Public talk

2012 Health Promotion Board youth forums, Singapore. Panellist

2012 Book launch of ‘A Philosopher’s Madness’, Singapore. Public launch

2012 Institute of Mental Health’s Burst the Silence Campaign, Singapore. Advocate

2012 Singapore Association of Mental Health Public Forum on Schizophrenia, Singapore. Guest Speaker

2011 BlinkBL-NK #14. Singapore. Speaker

What others say

“I really respect your candour – both in what you say, and in how you say it.”

“…so much to learn not just from your unique experience and deduction, but also from others in the same journey as well.”

“Thanks for enlightening me on the need to support colleagues/friends with mental health issues. I found the talk very informative. It made me reflect on issues related to mental health. Thank you again.”

“ I’m impressed by your passion in advocating for the persons with mental health issues.”

“Thumbs up for advocating for mental health!”

“I believe I bring back something today, especially after hearing your true story. I also will change my concept about those with mental health issues.”

“It is a good sharing session on mental health patients issues and what difficulties were faced in society. You did a good job in your presentation and I am happy for you that you managed to overcome such challenges. I want to say that you are very brave in standing up to advocate for mental health persons. And I enjoyed the session. You are awesome!”

“This session turns out to be a reality check for me. I had the pleasure to work with a recovering mental health patient. He proved to be an asset in my organisation. Thank you so much for this class.”

“Thank you for sharing your experience with us on how you managed and cope well with your problems. It give us an idea on how to deal with it and help our colleagues who’s been going through mental health illness. It help me to be more aware of what people who suffer from mental illness understand them more and help them to be more confident and live like a normal person do. Thank you so much.”

“Thank you Lishan for sharing with us your real-life experience. It has been an insightful lesson and an eye opener. It may not be easy to admit that one has a mental health issue, what’s more to go public and share your experience. Well done. And thanks once again. Hope you success in your future!”

“Thank you for sharing your experiences to us. It opens my eyes on your difficulties coping with reality of life. I salute you for being brave and strong to share your stories. Keep up the good work.”

“Thank you for sharing your true story. You are a brave person. I appreciate the research work that you are doing and the effort in putting these materials and presentation together. The session helps me to understand more about mental illness and cleared some doubts. Definitely we need more public education, attention from the government. Thank you again and keep up the good work.”

“I am very impressed and salute to you as you are sharing your real life mental health, you are able to come up and stand up from your illness, recovery and sustain yourself wonderfully. I can feel your joy in mental health work, you can share and help support groups and peers and you can explore and research the well-being and sustainability strategy to sustain your mental well being.”

“Thanks Lishan for the talk! It is good to hear more about mental health issues with relation to workplace. Continue to advocate for mental health!”

“Ms. Chan Lishan – amazing speaker with engaging activities incorporated into the seminar.”

“Lishan provided her own version of recovery with the 4Rs (Return, regain, reinvent, resume), which was refreshing. That also led me to think that perhaps an individual’s route to recovery could also be fuelled when he/she comes out with their own method to overcome their respective challenges. She also highlighted that we should not merely focus on the positive aspects that have surfaced, but also the gritty challenges.”

“Lishan left the deepest impression, perhaps because I had read about her before in the newspapers. And meeting her in person after reading about her experiences and her book publishing, it felt like an honour to be there and hear her stories from her.”

“Some memorable takeaways: Lishan’s willingness to share, her authorship and her story about her friend. Also: the distinction between mental illness and intellectual disability and other illnesses, takes on recovery, and employment issues.”

“It was enlightening to hear Lishan sharing the 4Rs: return, repair, reinvent, resume. It is very applicable, not only to people with mental illness, but also in everyone’s daily lives.”

An interview with Ada.

I was approached by a young woman working on an SG50 project, and this is part of an interview I had with her.

Can you introduce yourself?

I’m an administrator in mental health services planning and development who is trying, in my small way, to speak up for people with mental health problems, to share my lived experience, and to raise awareness of mental health.

I aim to do this in three ways—to educate, to encourage, and to engage.

Educate—I have been invited to speak at events organised by the Institute of Mental Health, Singapore Association of Mental Health, Silver Ribbon Singapore. The last two engagements I had, I spoke at a Special Dialogue session at the World Federation for Mental Health Regional Congress, and participated in a panel discussion for a mental health film screening event. I have also written articles for the Institute of Mental Health, as well as opinion pieces and letters to the media. I wish to educate, inform and raise awareness of mental health issues.

Encourage—I have written a book titled A Philosopher’s Madness. The book is a personal and philosophical account of schizophrenia. Many people who read my book are people who have mental health problems, or people who know someone with mental health problems.

I also give sharing sessions to let people know what I’ve gone through in my experience with mental illness, to let people know that they are not alone in their struggles.

I wish to share with others ways to cope with our mental health problems, and that we can live a good life in spite of it all. Importantly, I would like to encourage others not keep it a secret and suffer in silence.

Engage—There are three groups of people that I would like to engage with, the people with mental health problems, the mental health service providers, and the HR/employers.

I want to say that I’ve suffered, I’ve recovered, and now I want to share my experience. I wish to say to people with mental health problems, don’t give up and there is still a life to live, a story to tell. To the mental health providers, include and involve people with mental health problems, and to the employers, give a fair chance to those with mental health problems. We need your understanding and support.

I continue to speak at several events a year to raise awareness of mental health issues. I joined the National Council of Social Service, and I now oversee mental health public education efforts. This gives me the chance to, in a professional capacity, promote mental health with the objective of increasing opportunities for persons with mental health issues.

Can you recount the journey and what were the fears you facing during a difficult period?

The lowest point came when I was in the hospital. I had been tied up all night to the bed. When cloth strips binding me were untied, and I was told to go to the shower room to take a shower, my legs were so weak that I immediately collapsed on the floor. The nurses pulled me up by the arms and put me on a chair with wheels. They wheeled me to the shower room where I was treated to a cold shower.

By that time, when I was in the hospital, I had found myself virtually homeless, failing at exams, behaving badly and losing friends, My parents were overseas, and it wasn’t clear to me what was happening when the police arrested me for trespassing, and put me in a padded cell. I had given away or thrown away most of my earthly possessions by this time. And later on, I found that I had trouble reading or processing text, something which I had loved to do in the past, something that I had always taken for granted.

I often felt like a failure when comparing herself to my peers. My peers had progressed in their careers, moving from junior to senior positions, gaining recognition and accompanying compensation. Because I had invested everything I had into my dream, I had developed no other passions or interests. And when my dream let me down, my whole world crashed.

But in the aftermath of the broken dream, there was no reset button. Life went on.

In response, I was able to reinvent myself. I re-discovered an abiding interest in writing, and began to pen thoughts on a variety of topics, all of which I had no prior knowledge of or expertise in. As my articles were slowly but surely published, I began to build up confidence in myself and in the world around me.

I started to challenge myself. What if we thought of a person with mental health issues as a caregiver and contributor to the family, to mental health services, and to the community? What if we thought of persons living with schizophrenia as enabling positive change, as thinkers and doers, as being capable of showing care and compassion to themselves and to those around them?

In 2008, I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. In the following years, I worked in various jobs as a customer service officer, waitress and technical writer.

In 2012, my book ‘A Philosopher’s Madness’ was published. I started giving talks and writing articles on mental health. Since then, my talks have directly reached out to more than 2000 people and my articles published in the national newspapers, creating more and more discussions around mental health issues.

When my father became physically disabled, I helped to support him psychologically and emotionally. And when my sister first gave birth, I stepped in to babysit.

We often think of a person with schizophrenia as a care-receiver, that is, as a person who needs help and as a person who needs support from the family, from the mental health services, and from the community. But such persons may be capable and able to be care-givers at the same time that they are care-receivers.

And, to extend this train of thought, what if we not only expected persons with schizophrenia to recover, but to contribute? What if their contribution helped them to recover? What if recovery had no limits?

When I was diagnosed with schizophrenia, I was told by medical and mental health professionals to lower my expectations and to be realistic about my recovery prospects. I was worried that I could never be financially independent and lead a normal life, like everyone else. Then, I stopped worrying and got busy.

In 2013, I proposed a project to the Institute of Mental Health, to promote knowledge sharing about mental health issues between experts and laypersons. That project has become a collection of articles on their website, written by me, based on my forays into topics like mental health and informed medical decisions, employment, nutrition, and more.

I am currently employed by the mental health services team at the National Council of Social Service, where I work to enhance opportunities for persons with mental health issues… persons like me. It is immensely rewarding and fulfilling to be employed and to be of value to others.

I am fortunate to be working full-time. My current employer had looked beyond my illness to employ me in mental health services planning and development. I had transitioned to full-time employment after working part-time. So it is definitely possible to recover and to resume a meaningful life, even after a serious psychotic episode.

My employer has treated me as any other employee, and given me tasks that I can take responsibility for. In seeing past my illness to the person with capabilities and strengths underneath, and in treating me as a person who is able to contribute, it has ultimately led to greater confidence, a sense of self-worth, and increased financial independence, which I am grateful for.

Now, I tell medical and mental health professionals that recovery is not only possible but that it is limitless. I am able to support in small ways, my ageing parents, emotionally and financially. And although I have my bad days, overall, and as time passes, I feel better and stronger, not just psychologically but cognitively.

It has been a long journey. But today, I am happy to stand, speaking from the perspective of a recovered patient. What a wonderful world.

Tell us one thing that you are most proud of as well as one most tough thing.

I’m proud of going public with my brush with schizophrenia, though it was a tough decision. I’m proud of writing and publishing a first-person narrative of mental health with my real name. It was tough… someone actually told me it will completely ruin my future. But I realised that the book could be used as a force for good. I published the book as I wanted to share a true story of schizophrenia and to give insight into the minds of those struggling with mental illness. I wanted to fight stigma by raising awareness of mental health issues such as secrecy. Most importantly, I wanted to change societal perceptions of people with mental illness- people with mental illness are capable of holding down full-time permanent positions while doing volunteer work and having meaningful relationships with others.

What’s your next plan?

My plan is to keep pressing on, in my personal and professional capacity, to do my part to increase awareness of mental health issues in Singapore.

Do you have anything to share or suggestion to young generation of Singapore?

For young Singaporeans with chronic illnesses, you continue to struggle and try to cope with relapses, with repeats of the punishing symptoms that plague you. When this happens, there is a feeling of hopelessness about it all. When this happens, let us remind ourselves that recovery is a process, a journey that we will live and a story that we will tell. Will it be unfortunate suffering fallen upon a life, or an exceptional opportunity to show courage in adversity? Our decisions about how to perceive our situation and how to respond will make a difference.

To young people who are or will be working in the field of mental health, I urge you to involve persons with mental health issues in your discussions, to improve the hospital experience for future patients by reviewing processes so that the human spirit and dignity are not compromised.

To young people who will be Singapore’s future leaders and employers, please encourage and adopt fair recruitment practices. Understand and support return to work and study. And give people a chance to contribute to society and the work force, to show what we can do.